How will it change? Men's childcare leave (4) "The fight with my wife has increased dramatically" "Work is easier!" But I'm still glad I took childcare leave (1)

Shooting/Toshie Shirakura (Kobunsha Photo Furu)

Kohei Maeda/Profile

A fierce childcare leave period that overturns "It would be possible to see a child with two adults"

――First of all, could you tell us what you wanted to take on childcare leave?

The NPO Florence, which I work, has a 100%male childcare leave rate, so I decided to take childcare leave as a natural choice.However, looking back, I didn't really understand the actual situation of childcare leave, and before I got it, I thought, "Somehow, two adults can afford to see a small child."

I bought a lot of books to read it, and I was excited ... but when I opened the lid, I couldn't read a book during the childcare leave period (laughs).

――Is it completely different from the expected childcare leave?

During the childcare leave, my wife's body was also sloppy, and it was a much more spectacular period than I had expected.

For example, there was no such thing as a godly nursing scene that I had seen through the media.For a while after childbirth, my daughter couldn't drink breasts well, and her wife had mastitis, so it was painful.

By looking at such a fierce scene up close, men have been in a general way that men should be responsible for their work and organizations, but they should give priority to their families over organizations.I did it.

The organization turns around as if I was gone, even if I was gone.However, I realized that this family wouldn't really go if I was gone.At a difficult time after childbirth, I thought it was strange that there was no one to support, and I felt that my husband should definitely take childcare leave.

――It was difficult for childcare leave, but I felt that it was something to take.

Yes, but not only is it hard, but I think that I got too much happiness to make up for it.It was very happy for me to see my daughter's growth up close.

Even now, when I go home, "I'm right now," my daughter rushes with a dash while saying "Kya!"I guess it's because of the accumulation from that time, and I feel that my trust with her wife has become stronger during childcare leave.

What was behind the increase in the couple quarrel

――In this book, you also spell out the marital quarrel during childcare leave.

During childcare leave, the number of fights with my wife increased dramatically over housework and childcare methods.Many of her wife started with a word from her wife, "Why do you do that? You can understand it if you think a little!"I get angry.And I don't know why I'm angry.That continued.

――Why did that happen?

I think that the problem was that "decision making on childcare is biased to my wife."My home was breastfeeding, so my childcare schedule is directly linked to my wife's breastfeeding.That's why I started giving priority to my wife's intentions and became a "waiting man" for childcare in general.As a result, there was a big difference in awareness and knowledge of childcare.

If there is a man who wants to take childcare leave, it may be a good idea to be aware that it is a case that tends to fall.

――How did you solve the collisions of each other's housework and childcare?

After a quarrel, I listed all the housework and childcare that each other is in charge of each other.When I try it, my wife's tasks will continue to rise forever even after my task list has disappeared, as if counting the number of balls after a ball.If I noticed, my amount of tasks beyond my imagination was biased to my wife.

"Is this happening?" It was a scale from my eyes, and my consciousness changed dramatically.Now, in a loose role sharing, they are working on housework and childcare independently.

However, as time goes on, the expectations of each other are gradually shifting, so the fight is still out of the scenes.Each time we talk, the groove is buried, open and fight again.

――It can be improved because you are talking properly, and you can change it according to various phases of your family.

The company recognizes communication with colleagues and the importance of one -Owan, but I think that it is my family to have the most important communication.Even in busy days, we can't secure time to talk unless we are quite conscious, so for example, we and our couples have lunch together during our work, and we leave their children and go out together.。I think it's important for only two people.